Please mark your calendar so you can tune in, call up, cheer on, or throw virtual tomatoes at!

(non-interview event) DARK DREAMS: CORPORATE SLAVES
Book-release party! I’ll be signing copies of all my books, and giving free hugs.
This Friday: April 2nd.
Missoula, MT: Elk’s Club downstairs / 18+ / $5 / 10pm-2am
DJs ir8prim8, Hauli, Tobin / Dress in a CorpGoth fashion!

Easter Sunday, April 4th:
WITCHTALK RADIO on BlogTalk Radio
4pm-6pm Eastern (3-5 Central, 2-4 Mountain, 1-3 Pacific)
www.blogtalkradio.com/witchtalk

April 5, Monday
MODERN WITCH podcast
You can now download my interview on this great new podcast.
Also appearing on the show is the illustrious Storm Faerywolf!
modernwitch.podbean.com

April 7, Wednesday
HEX EDUCATION, SALEM
9pm-10pm Eastern (8-9 Central, 7-8 Mountain, 6-7 Pacific)
www.blogtalkradio.com/hexeducation

April 9, Friday
PAGANS TONIGHT (WITCHSCHOOL)
10pm-11pm Eastern (9-10 Central, 8-9 Mountain, 7-8 Pacific)
www.blogtalkradio.com/witchschool

April 12, Monday
(not live) : You can now download my interview with my friend
and fellow author Corvis Nocturnum! Available here any time:
www.corvisnocturnum.com (click on ‘Radio Show’)

April 16, Friday
CBS PSYCHICRADIO’s PSYCHIC IN THE CITY
8pm-10pm Eastern (7-9 Central, 6-8 Mountain, 5-7 Pacific)
www.psychiconair.com

May 10, Monday
PARA-X on INTUITIVE LIFE NETWORK
3pm-4pm Eastern (2-3 Central, 1-2 Mountain, Noon-1 Pacific)
www.para-x.com

May 24, Monday
SEPIA (SouthEast Paranormal Investigation Association) RVP
10pm-Midnite Eastern (9-11 Central, 8-10 Mountain, 7-9 Pacific)
www.sepianc.com

www.ravendigitalis.com

I woke up, washed my face, cleaned a fresh piercing with some saltwater, threw on some clothes and eyeliner, grabbed Uba, and was out the door. After a series of wrong turns—my brain wasn’t turned on just yet—I found my way to the veterinary clinic. My Priestess, my friends, and myself prefer this particular vet not only because she’s a knowledgeable middle-aged hippie (I’ve also heard that she’s Wiccan!), but because she rarely charges for animal checkups, shots, advice, and even medicine… a kind and kindred soul.

Cat and medicine in hand, I headed for the car and stuck both inside. “Great job, Uba Nabibi Mudada, you were so good for the doctor!” Just then, I noticed a dog behaving strangely outside of the clinic. A fellow with sunglasses, in his mid-30s, snubbed a cigarette and stood before the dog. I couldn’t hear what he was saying. The dog had short, brown fur and looked to be about 60 pounds. The dog’s head was slanted 90 degrees to the left, and his right eye was missing. He kept walking in circles, one after another, tongue hanging out over bits of missing hair. I was somewhat reassured by noticing that the dog was “all smiles,” so to speak; the doggie-grin he wore was ear-to-ear.

“Is he okay?” I walked up to the gentleman.

“No… no, he’s not.” I instantly sensed an overwhelming sorrow. “This is it.”

“What do you… oh…”

“Yep,” the man’s voice was trembling; his sadness couldn’t be contained, “it’s the end of the road. He lost his eye a while back, and he’s just disoriented and… he’s done for.” I instinctively placed my right hand on the man’s left shoulder and rubbed his back a bit. At that exact moment, I felt his pain. A very deep, soulful pain. I knew his mutt was a dear companion—there was Love there.

He started to weep a bit more, not trying as hard to hide the pain. I sensed that he was the type of fellow who usually hid his emotions—a sad reality for many men in American culture. Still, I sensed that he was the type to his pain simply because he didn’t wish to burden others with the emotion.

“Yeah,” I replied, “it’s hard. Really hard.” Tears swelled in both of my eyes. I had empathically absorbed a good portion of his misery—not because I consciously tried, but because I was there.”
“I just can’t be selfish anymore. I’ve been selfish too long. It’s time for him to go.”

“You took him here so he can leave?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

I removed my hand from his back, worried that he might feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, male-to-male touch is also a taboo in American culture, even though that particular taboo doesn’t exist for the majority of other cultures in the world. Either way, he didn’t seem to mind the touch, the conversation, or my unconventional appearance, and actually seemed to appreciate the support from a stranger.

“He’s happy, you know,” I told him, “very happy.”

“Yeah, he is. I know. He’s had a really good round.”

I replied, “He’s had a good incarnation; he’s happy, and now he can leave his body.”

He walked over to his dog, who had made a series of circles nearing the street traffic. The owner rerouted the mutt, whose drooling grin and tilted head hadn’t moved an inch, and the vet came outside to greet the dog and console the gentleman. I patted the dog on the back, sensing his happiness despite the obvious physical pain and delirium he was experiencing. Tears reached the labret piercing beneath my lower lip—a different type of cleansing saltwater than the kind I had used an hour earlier. I thought to myself for a second, “When humans are in pain, myself included, we so often get attached to the sensation and its accompanying fear. Animals just accept it and keep on going.”

“Have a good journey,” I told the beloved pet. The owner and the vet started talking intently, and they and the dog went inside the clinic. The man didn’t remove his shades.

I sat in the car and allowed myself to cry for at least five minutes, feeling the deep pain of loss the fellow was experiencing. For a time, I just sat with the emotion, letting it express itself through watering eyes and an expression of tragedy. After a few minutes, I realized that I had empathed much of his sorrow. I absorbed this heavy bit of it and had to figure out what to do with it. I felt so sorry for the fellow, wishing I could help him more.

“Okay,” I said to myself, “I absorbed this for a reason. I’m an Empath for a reason. Now I need to do something with this.” I first envisioned a soft, white light surrounding my face and head, quelling the tears and providing reassurance. To me, the white light represented a sort of “force from beyond,” a comfort from the Other Side. I allowed this to permeate my head and quickly wash over my body while I took a deep breath. I felt more composed—not due to emotional suppression, but due to constructive energy work—and visualized this same healing light going to the man and the mutt. I sensed that the dog didn’t need much of this energy; his emotions weren’t suffering. I visualized the owner surrounded in this soft light of acceptance and peace.

I sincerely smiled to myself, knowing that this bit of human comfort and compassion (a spiritual element severely missing in humanity), as well as this bit of magick, may have helped—even slightly—heal his pain.

~O.R.D.N.~
LVX/NOX
418/2080
x

*** The Crossroads at Midnight: A Ritual For Indecision & Path-Choosing ***

When looming decisions rule our thoughts, it can benefit us to utilize magick for the purpose of discovering the best possible course of action. Indecision can be a heavy weight. Not knowing what to do with oneself can lead to all varieties of anxiety. Following through on one path or another can be damaging if the person isn’t fully committed or sure of themselves. This spell can help the caster come to learn their destined route and grow
secure in the decision.
Spiritually and mythologically, the term “crossroads” can refer to a number of things. The best way to analyze the term is by understanding the symbolism: two crossing roads, or a fork in the road, signifies two paths. These paths can be spiritually seen as those which intersect “this” with “that.” These polarities can represent any two differing ideas, paths, or realms. The most popular idea are the perception of the crossroads being an intersection between this world and the faerie world. Other cultures have long viewed the crossroads as gateways between the realm of the living and that of the dead. Others view the crossroads as the intersection between good and evil forces. Mythologically, the Greek goddess Hecate and god Hermes seem to be those most prevalently associated with the crossroads. Numerous African gods (in Vodou and other systems) have crossroad associations. In Hoodoo, many practitioners view the crossroads not only as a boundary between worlds, but a place where magickal spells can be placed or buried either for the purpose of fixing/sealing them or destroying an enemy’s curse. This may be due to the fact that the crossed roads form an “X,” or because the roads are assumed to be frequently traveled on (thus carrying forth or “stomping down” energies).
One can utilize the intersection of two paths for a variety of purposes. Because some lunar deities have crossroad associations, as well as because the crossroads are generally visited for magickal work during the hours of night, the symbolism is frequently aligned with the moon. Just as the moon is the illuminated eye in the darkened sky, so may this spell provide the practitioner with the clarity to find their way.

* Stepping back & further application: * ~~~ You are finding yourself at a crossroads in life for a reason. For starters, one must step back from their mental turmoil to see something for what it really is. Is the decision a really big deal, or are you somewhat blowing it out of proportion? Is the choice black or white, or is there actually a balanced middle-ground that outweighs the two choices? Are there more options in the situation to be considered, and are the options necessarily mutually exclusive?
Sometimes the answer to difficult questions have the most simple solution. Sometimes the answer is already known, and the seeker is just looking for the confirmation they need. This spell can work in that regard. However, be open to the possibility of receiving messages that contradict your opinions or expectations. Objectivity is a necessity when analyzing or divinating on a situation, whether it’s your own or someone else’s.

SUPPLIES:

* 4 fresh, organic apples
* Chiastolite, saturolite, or another “cross stone”
* A combination of lavender, honey (or honey powder), and myrrh
* Your most accurate deck of Tarot cards or other divinatory tool
* An athamé or knife

NOTES:

Ø This spell is designed to be performed at a crossroads. It is best to find two intersecting dirt roads or paths in nature. I’ve found the most ideal crossroad locations to be cemeteries, parks, and mountain trails. Also, the spell is best performed at midnight or 3am while the moon is full. Finally, be sure that you are alone and undisturbed.

Ø If you are used to working with deities of the crossroads (Hecate, for example), you may wish to additionally call on their assistance for this spell. Don’t forget to bring proper offerings!

Ø The colors red and black are traditionally associated with the crossroads in Africa. It would be ideal to wear these colors when performing the spell.

PROCEDURE:

· Begin by casting a circle, calling the quarters, chanting or raising energy as you normally would, performing protective exercises, and altering your consciousness. While sitting in the middle of the crossroads, clear your mind, bring focus to your breath, and meditate for at least a few minutes. When ready, begin the spell.

· Place one apple on each intersecting road. Make sure that the fifth apple is either standing upright on the “cross stone” next to you, or is resting on the stone while sat in your lap. On this fifth apple, take your athamé and carve an X on one side and a Y on the other.

· Now that the apples surround you in a square shape, raise your hands and, either closing your eyes or gazing at the moon, whisper,

“Gods, ancestors, spirits, devas, fae… those who guard and protect the crossroads… I summon your presence and ask you to bear witness to this divination. Guide me in my way, guard me in my path—may I know the route I am meant to take. Utter the answers I seek. Whisper solutions in my ear. Possess my mind not with glamour, but with solutions. So mote it be.”

· At this point, you may call forth any crossroad-associated deities you wish to work with. If you work with any spirit guides or spirit animal helpers, summon their aid. After this, declare,

“The question I have is this: ___[state your dilemma]___. What path shall I take?”

· Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you. Take note of anything applicable that you might hear. After a few moments, say,

“If I was to take the road of ____[state one possibility]____, what would be the result?”

· Quiet your mind and listen for any answers or signs around you. The wind may pick up, an apple might fall over, a car might blare its horn, and so on. Take note of any synchronicity and determine whether or not it’s divine communication. After a few moments, draw a Tarot card or divine with the tool of your choice. Take note of any messages you may receive. Be careful to read the signs not in the way that you wish to see them, but in the way that the spirits intend.

· Repeat the two previous steps for as many “possible solutions” you have in mind. When you’ve divined on each potential outcome, say the following,

“Are there additional possibilities in this situation—those which I have not previously considered?”

· Again, listen to the signs and divine for as long as you need. Eat the apple in front of you and meditate on the messages received. Try blurring your eyes and gazing into the “cross stone” in order to see if any additional messages are waiting to be scryed.

· At this point, you should have a more clear direction of the path you should walk. If you didn’t get a direct answer of the best possible outcome, take note of the messages you received and continue to practice “informed contemplation” until you make the decision (or realize the decision, I should say).

· Thank all entities present for their assistance in your ritual and close the circle as you normally would. For offerings, leave the apples where they are, placing the core in the center. Without looking back, walk away from the crossroads the way from which you came.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErbHChfZ7UI

“The earth turned grey, the sea turned black, the rivers turned red, the sun turned cold, the beast turned pale, the stars turned fast, the air turned to poison… [and when the Lamb opened the Seventh Seal, silence covered the sky]…” …in the background is playing the ENIGMA: MCMXC AD complete-album music video DVD that was sold alongside the disk—I rented it through Netflix (which I am becoming obsessed with because of the rare DVDs available to rent thru there), though I’ll continue to support local video stores as much as possible.

It’s late, very late, and my mind is prone to tangents and ephemeral asides. But I’m sure you don’t mind =) [Reality is all about dancing with the vibrations and circumstances one finds oneself with/in any given present-moment] Also, if I haven’t gotten to your email/comment/friend request, please don’t take it personally—time just hasn’t been something I’ve had a lot of lately!

My first stop was Denver. The New Age show was… interesting… there were some great aspects about it, such as some of the people I got to meet. At the same time, it astounds me how many delusional people, charlatans and con artists are involved in the New Age movement. Luckily, I have enough discernment to tell who is in it for the cash and who is truly in it to help, heal and guide people. I both feel sorry for the desperate people deceived by the swindlers (don’t even get me started on the ascended-master-communicators, clair-everythings, escapist white-light-healers and Scientologists), and celebrate those who accomplished actual healing work at the event. Anyway, my main signing was at the Witches’ Brew Café. I met some TRES cool folks there (spiritual kin!), went to some clubs, and had an absolutely great time. It was also during the time of the DNC (Democratic National Convention) in Denver, and watching Obama (from the hotel room; not live) indeed instilled me with some new hope for this severely misguided country. I will certainly vote for him, even though (very sadly) it’s the 200-some representatives in the *Electoral College* that decide who is president, NOT us citizens. Makes one wonder what’s going on behind the scenes. I wish every vote was equal in this country.

Spokane (WA) was… well, not so great. Aside from having the deepest conversation I’ve had about Empathy with Chad, the storeowner of Raven’s Flight (attached to Rising Phoenix), my Spocompton experience was quite unfulfilling… i.e. the hotel decide to not tell me that there was massively loud renovation construction occurring directly outside of my room at 8 in the morning (and I hadn’t slept well for 3 weeks prior—aah!), I showed up to the signing late (things came up at home, making me slightly late) and everyone who came to the signing that day showed up before *I* arrived, my relatives in the area didn’t let me stay with them (because of lifestyle conflicts, methinks), and the date of the Jucifer show was wrong on their Myspace page (I went to the bar and they weren’t playing!). I’m glad it only lasted a day.
HIGHLIGHTS: Conversation about Empathy, drinking a lot, walking around the hotel room nekkid.
Moving on…

Seattle was the next stop. It was loads of fun. However, I absolutely loathe driving in that city—panic attacks nearly ensued a number of times! Regardless, I managed, and got to catch up with *many* old friends from Missoula and elsewhere, as well as meet others on the way. The clubs were nice, the coffee amazing, the signing/readings went perfectly (Edge of the Circle books is one of the most complete and intelligent occult stores I’ve visited), and the time spent with my comrades was memorable. I even got to play with an enormous purple dead jellyfish on the beach! All in all, it was awesome.
HIGHLIGHTS: catching up with beloved friends, the deathrock go-go dancer at the gay club, the jellyfish, eating seaweed fresh out of the ocean, Treair’s snuggly pit bulls.

I stayed with friends near Tacoma, and we likewise had a blast together. The book signings and clubbing (are you noticing a pattern here?) were great, and we even did some drumming and mantras for the full moon. The Central Puget Sound Pagan Pride was fun; it was so nice to meet the Pagan community in the area!
HIGHLIGHTS: Seeing Crescent Moon Gifts (and getting an intricate Hermes statue—my God indeed), meeting author Paul Hudson artist Amy Brown, Angela & Dan’s sweet doggie, red wine.

Eugene (OR) was a very lonely experience, aside from meeting a couple of cool folks at the signing. From what I got to experience and see during the one day I was there, I didn’t find it to be anything too special. See, I have always heard that Eugene is “Missoula’s sister city.” I had to see for myself (anything like Missoula—particularly if it’s a bit bigger than Missoula [there are about 100,000 people here] is grand in my eyes). Though it had a good amount of alternative people, ethnic/cultural/subcultural diversity, and relatively friendly folk, I didn’t get the impression that it was very much like my hometown. I’m glad I got to experience it for myself, though. Oregon and Washington (and Western Montana) are generally very, very lush, green and breathtakingly beautiful.
HIGHLIGHTS: Driving around in the afternoon to check out the city, talking to the trees.

My final stop, which (like Seattle) lasted for about 4-5 days, was Portland. Before experiencing the city this time around, I wasn’t quite sure what to think of the area. Until this time around, I didn’t really get the full PDX-experience. Luckily, I did this time, and I admittedly have a newfound love for Portland. What a great place. The city is incredibly easy to publicly transport, drive and generally navigate in (it was cleverly designed from the start), it’s *extremely* liberal and progressive, very *green* (in many, many ways), GLBTI-friendly, VERY alternative (I never see as many alternative people in one city as I do in PDX), and extremely diverse. If I were to move to a bigger place, I would have to say that it would be Portland. It’s basically like one giant Missoula. Anyway, the book signing was good, it was great to see old friends, the queer clubs, drum n bass/house/trance/electronic clubs and industrial clubs were an absolute blast, and the food was *amazing.* PDX is very art- and food-centered, and there are vegetarian, vegan and even raw food restaurants everywhere you look. I stayed with my buddies Taylor Ellwood & Lupa (who are also fantastic people and brilliant writers—I *very* highly suggest checking out their books), which was much-needed… we even went to a giant BDSM/fetish club party on my last day there. Very memorable.
HIGHLIGHTS: The Vegetarian House restaurant (a Chinese place with tons of mock meat; run by an international cult), spending time with Taylor & Lupa (and their precious kitties), vegan chicken fried steak, high-class cocktails, sushi, seeing old friends and making new ones, more food, drinking a lot, the fetish party, and eating more veg food.

To wrap things up, the Dark Dreams (Goth/industrial/fetish) party here in Missoula just happened, where I signed copies of both books. We got about 230 people this time (the event is usually bi-monthly), which is more people than ANY of the clubnights I went to in travel. There may have been about that many in Denver, but that’s about it. Pretty impressive. It was an amazing time!

So now I’m here! I’ll be catching up on stuff for a while and keeping busy for a bit—time will be on my side sooner than later. I must also express my gratitude to my readers and friends who have expressed praise and respect for the work I’m doing. It makes it all worth it to know that I’m helping people in their lives (and am gaining friends in the process).

Agape,

~R~

Otherwise, I’ve recently planned my big book tour (WA, OR, CO, MT), which will be so very nice. I’ve also just recently been interviewed by GOTHIC BEAUTY Magazine, so look for that feature in the next issue (I’m honoured!). Other than that, I’m trying to spend more time with friends and loved ones, as these things are vitally important. In a sense, I’ve been forced (though certainly not against my will) to see more family members lately: my grandpa died a couple weeks ago. I won’t get into the process, but I learned a LOT from it. he went very peacefully, and Estha and I helped guide his soul out of his body, as did his other loved ones.

Everyone should see Michael Moore’s SICKO documentary. America is such a fucked up Evil Empire in so many ways, it’s unbelievable. UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE FOR EVERYONE! Bloody hell, why is GENEROSITY so difficult in this world? ….GREED and FEAR are a POISON worse than any hemlock or arsenic.

People are asking how CONVERGENCE 14 in Tampa went. I would summarize it as one big unfortunate failure. Not only did the Convergence committee not communicate whatsoever with the vendors (note that Estha and Madeline/Datura and myself went there to vend our TWIGS & BREWS products, the current stock of which includes various soaps, lotions, teas, incense, bath salts, essential oils, and a plethora of other things—expect an update with product photos in the not-too-distant), and didn’t bother to tell us that, unlike Convergence 13 in Portland last year (which got around 3000 people), they were purposefully trying to keep this one small (getting a total of about 250 folks throughout). Had we known this, we would have never gone. Still, it was all for a reason and there were good aspects for sure—despite now being even more in debt (no, guys: being an author is NOT where all the money’s at! But that will change with time). So, Convergence 14 was awful this year, and we (and many other vendors) feel used and mistreated. Convergence COULD be an enormous event—something comparable even to Europe’s WAVE GOTIK TREFFIN—but they seem to not want this success. I think there is FAR too much arrogance and cruelty and mundanity within the Gothic community, that large gatherings are both necessary and healing. Gods know American Goths need feelings of community and kinship in particular.
Anyway—I DID get to meet some tres cool people, including the band AUDRA. What sweet, genuine, beautiful people they are! I absolutely adored meeting them.

On the last day of the event, I got news that one of my coworkers, Kolby, shot himself. I was a bit of a wreck, and it’s taken a while to process. Though I had only spoken with him a total of 3 hours, it was clear that he was hurting. I, and everyone he talked to (I am certain), tried to help him the best we could—to put his issues in perspective and remind him of his abilities and beauty. He had so many plans, but his issues of obsession and feelings of worthlessness consumed him in the end. Now, I understand and can even respect FREE WILL, but from my perspective, more often than not, suicide is a permanent solution to temporary issues. And, because Reality works in cycles, it only makes sense that the soul of the one who ‘clocked out early’ is bound to repeat, in some form, the challenges that consumed them. If lessons are not confronted and learned—even the most difficult, soul-devouring, and seemingly unfair experiences within this Reality—they will be replayed in some form. EXISTENCE IS A LEARNING PROCESS. Like ENIGMA/Creteau said, “We came out from the deep, To learn to love, to learn how to live. We came out from the deep, To avoid the mistakes we made. That’s why we are here. We came out from the deep, To help and understand, but not to kill. It takes many lives till we succeed, To clear the debts of many hundred years, That’s why we are here…”

THIS IS THE SUMMER OF DEATH. It is all around us. It is happening more frequently than I have ever seen it. It’s not just for me, and it’s not restricted to the human realm. Tons of people and animals are leaving this plane of existence. It seems dreadfully and curiously ominous. I simply don’t know what to make of it. what do you all think? Most deaths have always occurred in either Winter or Autumn, but this summer…? What global Changes are nigh? Why is this happening? I can’t come to a conclusion.

I should get some new contact lenses. O______o

If anyone wants to download the (legal) bootleg of the SMASHING PUMPKINS live show (Viper Room, LA) that holds so much nostalgia and beauty for me, I recently found it posted here… thank the Muses! I’ve been looking for this for 10 years …

http://www.rspaa.org/rspaa/Live/1998-01-15%20Viper%20Room;%20Los%20Angeles,%20CA,%20US/

In other news, THANK YOU all for complimenting my BIHAWK. I’m glad you like it! Estha did an amazing job at it, and I’m really loving the new hair. It’s so much fun, and my bald-ish-ness looks much more suiting than I would have imagined =)

BTW, I am one busy birdie, so please forgive my occasional email-reclusion/neglection.
Also keep in mind the Services (such as Tarot and spiritual counseling) that Estha and myself offer. Information is available here: www.ravendigitalis.com/services

For now, bonsoir and *EVER SEEK JOY*. Eternal blessings of the Gods, sweet friends!
Hail Djehuti!

~O.R.D.N.~ xx

418/2080
LVX/NOX

CHICAGO ~ Chicago itself, as a city, appeared to me as a big, consuming machine: everyone and everything being sorted, rushed, labeled, shipped, plastic-wrapped, and made a cog of the empirical infrastructure. Yeah; not such a good experience. Estha (my Priestess/partner) and I went here for GothicFest. Truth be told, the festival was *horribly* put together. For example, most bands had to *pay* $600-$1000 JUST to play at the show for a half hour, vendors had to pay an exorbitant fee, entrance was something like $55 for *each* of the two nights, and each night *closed at 11pm*, meaning that us vendors were left high and dry (we were vending our Twigs and Brews products [see website] and I was selling Goth Craft). What Goths and Rivets want to attend an event ending at 11pm?! It was also 21+, to top it off. Basically, it was a very poor turnout, we lost some serious money that we could use, and it was a really bad experience. However, despite feeling trapped and tapped (not to mention the usual Mercury retrograde flight troubles, awful mistreatment, and the witnessing of some SERIOUSLY angry/cruel/bitter locals), we met some VERY cool people and I am grateful for that. This includes occult author Corvis Nocturnum and the beautiful Ninth Gate/Dark Moon Press posse, model/occultist Gashley Darcane, vampyre/model Don Henrie, DJ Goth Paul, and the bands Attrition, Regenerator, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Red Flag, and Bella Morte. All very nice people, the bands of whom had absolutely ASTOUNDING shows. I had wanted to see Attrition for years, and it was such a pleasure to get to know Martin and Julia, in particular. All these people and more made it worthwhile, and my lovely publicist Jennifer Spees accompanied us for much of the show, which was very nice!

MINNEAPOLIS ~ Definitely one of the nicest cities I’ve been to. Estha and I went here next and stayed right by the U of M campus. Not only was it tens of times more comfortable, but the 5 nights we stayed at the Days Inn was about the same price as ONE night in Chicago (at the cheapest B&B we could find). Eye of Horus books was the first book signing, and we got to chat with some fantastic folks, I signed a number of books, and spent time in that very welcoming metaphysical shoppe (including walking their outdoor labyrinth!). I also met up with some old friends and met new ones at the Saloon Goth night/gay club, which was very nice. On the 17th, Estha and I visited the Llewellyn Publications headquarters/warehouse, and got to meet everyone that I’ve been in contact with during the writing process, and many more. Everyone was totally welcoming and fun to hang around. I gave away some Tarot readings in the raffle, which went over very well, and we got to spend time with Sandra and Carl Weschcke (who run Llewellyn)! Magus Books was the next signing. The owner, Roger, was spiritually radiant as usual, and shared with us his forthcoming Tarot deck. Absolutely *astounding*. Roger is one of the purest, most genuine, and seasoned mages/occultists/Elders I have ever met. Estha and I are both profoundly grateful to know him. Naturally, it was a pleasure signing at Magus, though the turnout for book signings wasn’t too big (all the events were relatively small since I’m a new author, though, at the same time, sales of Goth Craft are through the roof worldwide).

SAN DIEGO ~ Estha went back to Missoula at this point, and I went on to stay with my dear friends Sasha and Courtney in San Diego. It was a positive change for sure! I even drug (dragged?) them to an industrial club, which was loads of fun (though it was a small club. Sasha, I WILL bring you to a Goth club in Hollywood or Denver, hell or high water. Feel the EBM!!). The folks at Tree of Life books (in Ocean Beach) were absolutely awesome. The musical artist High Priestess, also a good friend of mine, accompanied on harp for this event, which was a glorious touch. It was a casual night, though I was feeling extremely out of sorts (as an Empath, I’m not always sure why I get in certain perceptive ruts/situations, but just have to go with the flow and experience).

HOLLYWOOD / LOS ANGELES ~ I took a train (wee) to LA/Holy-wood, and stayed at High Priestess’s house, the House of Bliss. Indeed, it was blissful. VERY Pagan. I got to meet her comrades, all of whom I absolutely adore, and we even did a spontaneous Full Moon ritual the evening I arrived. It was perfect. My event in Hollywood was also with High Priestess on harp, and I signed books alongside celebrity Witch/musician Fiona Horne. She is definitely one of my favourite Witches; I only wish she and I could have had more time to chat! I ended up doing Tarot readings for 5 hours straight! It was nice, and I totally made $200… but blew it all in New York (I was even being frugal…). Ah well. The event was at Panpipes Magickal Marketplace, the oldest occult store in the nation. Unlike some occult shoppes, Panpipes isn’t neurotically organized or sterile. This was actually a great attribute; Panpipes is kooky and spooky and fun. Loved it. And the ladies that run the store were a pleasure to get to know. I hope I go back! Anyway; I met up with my good friend and webmaster Michael, and we had a night on the town. We walked the star-tiles, saw the infamous buildings, took hits off a hookah (my first time, ooh), and saw a real-life prostitute (yeah, we don’t exactly have hookers in Montana. But I’m not totally uncultured. It was sad to see that, and all the homeless folks, more than anything). The Gothic/industrial club Hell (at Façade) that night was AMAZING. I have never seen so many immaculately-dressed, EXTREME Cyber kids, Goths, and Rivetheads. Unreal. I’ve been to a number of cities and, at least visually, nothing I’ve seen remotely compares to the Hollywood dark club scene. Absolutely otherworldly. The EBM/industrial/futurepop that was being played was equally fantastic. The whole scene was very inspiring, even though it seems that many members are more image-focused than musically/emotionally-focused in the scene (but it’s Hollywood, what does one expect?).

BALTIMORE ~ Sigh. It is, quite honestly, painful to even talk about my experience here. I have NEVER had to keep up so many walls and energetic barriers for such an extended period of time. This was the darkest city I’ve ever been to, and I don’t mean in the good Goth dark sort of way. The whole area is tainted and spiritually dead (though not supernaturally dead; there are plenty of dead and hungry ghosts, unsurprisingly). I was spiritually suffocating, and basically cried the whole time. It still feels strange *not* to be in Baltimore; I know it’s leeched a part of my consciousness, and I MUST pull that back in ritual, perhaps this evening. Actually; I don’t want to pull any of that back (thanks for the suggestion Estha), I need to sever etheric ties and let that energy disperse, and pull additional sustanence from elsewhere, like the Nature here. No exaggeration: if you have any sort of spiritual awareness or emotional sensitivity, DO NOT EVER set foot in Baltimore. Personally, I haven’t been that sad in some time. I didn’t realize it was the murder capital of the USA, either. It was scary. I felt like I was *fucking dying*. It was an entirely foreign experience; I have never been in that sort of situation/paradigm; it was like a whole other world,, one much more evil and broken than I could imagine. Baltimore seems vacant of light—and culture. The immaturity, soul-shattering apathy, escapism/fantasy mentalities, and antispiritual focuses of people there—yes, including those of the subcultures I identify with—was more intense than I ever have experienced. My time spent there also strongly illuminated for me the actual sacredness and the comparatively utopian antithesis of Missoula, my hometown. Not to mention, it illuminated the importance and sacredness of my friends. I didn’t realize that LOVE was so lacking in some areas, and I’ve learned from that experience not to take such a force for granted. Love truly is the Guide; the Law. There is nothing more important nor more spiritual than genuine love, peace, humility, and compassion. I went to Baltimore to visit my friend Ibis (and sign at a bookstore there), and I should not fail to mention that he and a number of his friends/comrades were, however, very good people in that they demonstrated compassion, intelligence, and awareness beyond the temporal. It was nice to see some amount of light in the undertow.

NEW YORK CITY ~ This was fun. Ian/Ibis and I took a day trip drive over to NYC. The Universe decided to lead us in all directions, so we ended up driving through Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens (I think), and Jersey City. We went to the Witches’ Ball in Manhattan, and met up with our friend, the fantastic chaos-incarnate (I exaggerate not; she IS the chaos current) Rachel Haywire (who is also an industrial/noise musician and writer). The Ball was a neat event, and the organizers did a little ritual for Samhain (in the nightclub.. a short ritual, difficult to perform in the small venue space with tons of people, but it had good intention and raised some nice community energy). I met some nifty folks there, and we partied in Jersey City at Haywire’s recording studio, only to wake up super early, drive back, and get me to the airport just in the knick of time. NYC was a nice ending to the book tour, and I’m glad it hadn’t ended with the life-sucking Baltimore (sorry, I’m bitter. It was literally traumatic to be there). After that, I came back home, had a book signing here at Barnes and Noble the next day, helped run a local Samhain/Halloween ritual (VERY nice), and DJ’ed a Day of the Dead party. So now I’m here… catching up… getting my thoughts in order… and tackling one thing at a time. Thanks for reading about my experiences =)

Anyway, MERRY DAY/NIGHT OF EQUAL BALANCE (autumnal equinox)!!

~OakRaven~ x