418/2080
LVX/NOX

CHICAGO ~ Chicago itself, as a city, appeared to me as a big, consuming machine: everyone and everything being sorted, rushed, labeled, shipped, plastic-wrapped, and made a cog of the empirical infrastructure. Yeah; not such a good experience. Estha (my Priestess/partner) and I went here for GothicFest. Truth be told, the festival was *horribly* put together. For example, most bands had to *pay* $600-$1000 JUST to play at the show for a half hour, vendors had to pay an exorbitant fee, entrance was something like $55 for *each* of the two nights, and each night *closed at 11pm*, meaning that us vendors were left high and dry (we were vending our Twigs and Brews products [see website] and I was selling Goth Craft). What Goths and Rivets want to attend an event ending at 11pm?! It was also 21+, to top it off. Basically, it was a very poor turnout, we lost some serious money that we could use, and it was a really bad experience. However, despite feeling trapped and tapped (not to mention the usual Mercury retrograde flight troubles, awful mistreatment, and the witnessing of some SERIOUSLY angry/cruel/bitter locals), we met some VERY cool people and I am grateful for that. This includes occult author Corvis Nocturnum and the beautiful Ninth Gate/Dark Moon Press posse, model/occultist Gashley Darcane, vampyre/model Don Henrie, DJ Goth Paul, and the bands Attrition, Regenerator, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Red Flag, and Bella Morte. All very nice people, the bands of whom had absolutely ASTOUNDING shows. I had wanted to see Attrition for years, and it was such a pleasure to get to know Martin and Julia, in particular. All these people and more made it worthwhile, and my lovely publicist Jennifer Spees accompanied us for much of the show, which was very nice!

MINNEAPOLIS ~ Definitely one of the nicest cities I’ve been to. Estha and I went here next and stayed right by the U of M campus. Not only was it tens of times more comfortable, but the 5 nights we stayed at the Days Inn was about the same price as ONE night in Chicago (at the cheapest B&B we could find). Eye of Horus books was the first book signing, and we got to chat with some fantastic folks, I signed a number of books, and spent time in that very welcoming metaphysical shoppe (including walking their outdoor labyrinth!). I also met up with some old friends and met new ones at the Saloon Goth night/gay club, which was very nice. On the 17th, Estha and I visited the Llewellyn Publications headquarters/warehouse, and got to meet everyone that I’ve been in contact with during the writing process, and many more. Everyone was totally welcoming and fun to hang around. I gave away some Tarot readings in the raffle, which went over very well, and we got to spend time with Sandra and Carl Weschcke (who run Llewellyn)! Magus Books was the next signing. The owner, Roger, was spiritually radiant as usual, and shared with us his forthcoming Tarot deck. Absolutely *astounding*. Roger is one of the purest, most genuine, and seasoned mages/occultists/Elders I have ever met. Estha and I are both profoundly grateful to know him. Naturally, it was a pleasure signing at Magus, though the turnout for book signings wasn’t too big (all the events were relatively small since I’m a new author, though, at the same time, sales of Goth Craft are through the roof worldwide).

SAN DIEGO ~ Estha went back to Missoula at this point, and I went on to stay with my dear friends Sasha and Courtney in San Diego. It was a positive change for sure! I even drug (dragged?) them to an industrial club, which was loads of fun (though it was a small club. Sasha, I WILL bring you to a Goth club in Hollywood or Denver, hell or high water. Feel the EBM!!). The folks at Tree of Life books (in Ocean Beach) were absolutely awesome. The musical artist High Priestess, also a good friend of mine, accompanied on harp for this event, which was a glorious touch. It was a casual night, though I was feeling extremely out of sorts (as an Empath, I’m not always sure why I get in certain perceptive ruts/situations, but just have to go with the flow and experience).

HOLLYWOOD / LOS ANGELES ~ I took a train (wee) to LA/Holy-wood, and stayed at High Priestess’s house, the House of Bliss. Indeed, it was blissful. VERY Pagan. I got to meet her comrades, all of whom I absolutely adore, and we even did a spontaneous Full Moon ritual the evening I arrived. It was perfect. My event in Hollywood was also with High Priestess on harp, and I signed books alongside celebrity Witch/musician Fiona Horne. She is definitely one of my favourite Witches; I only wish she and I could have had more time to chat! I ended up doing Tarot readings for 5 hours straight! It was nice, and I totally made $200… but blew it all in New York (I was even being frugal…). Ah well. The event was at Panpipes Magickal Marketplace, the oldest occult store in the nation. Unlike some occult shoppes, Panpipes isn’t neurotically organized or sterile. This was actually a great attribute; Panpipes is kooky and spooky and fun. Loved it. And the ladies that run the store were a pleasure to get to know. I hope I go back! Anyway; I met up with my good friend and webmaster Michael, and we had a night on the town. We walked the star-tiles, saw the infamous buildings, took hits off a hookah (my first time, ooh), and saw a real-life prostitute (yeah, we don’t exactly have hookers in Montana. But I’m not totally uncultured. It was sad to see that, and all the homeless folks, more than anything). The Gothic/industrial club Hell (at Façade) that night was AMAZING. I have never seen so many immaculately-dressed, EXTREME Cyber kids, Goths, and Rivetheads. Unreal. I’ve been to a number of cities and, at least visually, nothing I’ve seen remotely compares to the Hollywood dark club scene. Absolutely otherworldly. The EBM/industrial/futurepop that was being played was equally fantastic. The whole scene was very inspiring, even though it seems that many members are more image-focused than musically/emotionally-focused in the scene (but it’s Hollywood, what does one expect?).

BALTIMORE ~ Sigh. It is, quite honestly, painful to even talk about my experience here. I have NEVER had to keep up so many walls and energetic barriers for such an extended period of time. This was the darkest city I’ve ever been to, and I don’t mean in the good Goth dark sort of way. The whole area is tainted and spiritually dead (though not supernaturally dead; there are plenty of dead and hungry ghosts, unsurprisingly). I was spiritually suffocating, and basically cried the whole time. It still feels strange *not* to be in Baltimore; I know it’s leeched a part of my consciousness, and I MUST pull that back in ritual, perhaps this evening. Actually; I don’t want to pull any of that back (thanks for the suggestion Estha), I need to sever etheric ties and let that energy disperse, and pull additional sustanence from elsewhere, like the Nature here. No exaggeration: if you have any sort of spiritual awareness or emotional sensitivity, DO NOT EVER set foot in Baltimore. Personally, I haven’t been that sad in some time. I didn’t realize it was the murder capital of the USA, either. It was scary. I felt like I was *fucking dying*. It was an entirely foreign experience; I have never been in that sort of situation/paradigm; it was like a whole other world,, one much more evil and broken than I could imagine. Baltimore seems vacant of light—and culture. The immaturity, soul-shattering apathy, escapism/fantasy mentalities, and antispiritual focuses of people there—yes, including those of the subcultures I identify with—was more intense than I ever have experienced. My time spent there also strongly illuminated for me the actual sacredness and the comparatively utopian antithesis of Missoula, my hometown. Not to mention, it illuminated the importance and sacredness of my friends. I didn’t realize that LOVE was so lacking in some areas, and I’ve learned from that experience not to take such a force for granted. Love truly is the Guide; the Law. There is nothing more important nor more spiritual than genuine love, peace, humility, and compassion. I went to Baltimore to visit my friend Ibis (and sign at a bookstore there), and I should not fail to mention that he and a number of his friends/comrades were, however, very good people in that they demonstrated compassion, intelligence, and awareness beyond the temporal. It was nice to see some amount of light in the undertow.

NEW YORK CITY ~ This was fun. Ian/Ibis and I took a day trip drive over to NYC. The Universe decided to lead us in all directions, so we ended up driving through Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens (I think), and Jersey City. We went to the Witches’ Ball in Manhattan, and met up with our friend, the fantastic chaos-incarnate (I exaggerate not; she IS the chaos current) Rachel Haywire (who is also an industrial/noise musician and writer). The Ball was a neat event, and the organizers did a little ritual for Samhain (in the nightclub.. a short ritual, difficult to perform in the small venue space with tons of people, but it had good intention and raised some nice community energy). I met some nifty folks there, and we partied in Jersey City at Haywire’s recording studio, only to wake up super early, drive back, and get me to the airport just in the knick of time. NYC was a nice ending to the book tour, and I’m glad it hadn’t ended with the life-sucking Baltimore (sorry, I’m bitter. It was literally traumatic to be there). After that, I came back home, had a book signing here at Barnes and Noble the next day, helped run a local Samhain/Halloween ritual (VERY nice), and DJ’ed a Day of the Dead party. So now I’m here… catching up… getting my thoughts in order… and tackling one thing at a time. Thanks for reading about my experiences =)

Anyway, MERRY DAY/NIGHT OF EQUAL BALANCE (autumnal equinox)!!

~OakRaven~ x

Raven Digitalis

Gunnu just drink some British tea and smoke a smig (all-natural, of course).. just took a bath, which was quite nice. Added some yellow ‘colour bath’ to it (for the magick/vibration of Study/intellect [did I spell that word right? LOL]) and I’ve been listening to the new TORI AMOS on REPEAT all night. Gawd it’s good. Added a song to my MySpace profile. She’s a demigoddess.

Back aches! Long(ish) day. Estha endured her 6th Mark as Priestess Rite of Passage today, which went VERY well. Very purging and cleansing and of preparation for the year-and-a-day to come. Awesome. My Fourth Mark is on June 11th (wow!), during which I will have my own trials to endure, and May 25th-27th is CONVERGENCE 13 in Portland!! The States’ largest Gothic festival. And I FINALLY get to meet Monica and William from Faith and the Muse.. AND see them play, of course. I’m also quite excited for Skinny Puppy, Jill Tracy, Zoe Keating, and Front Line Assembly. Yes, I’m bragging. COME TO CONVERGENCE!

Love / peace / empathy / awareness / 2012,

~C~

}]) went up to our friend Kelly’s house to set up for the following day’s public ritual. Kelly lives in a yurt here in the gorgeous mountains of Montana; perfect for our Sabbat celebrations! Once we all set up the altars, we got some rest to prepare for Beltane. All night, and though I had felt like a restless zombie all day, the spirits kept filling my conscious mind with inspiration for the rituals to come, and I ended up getting 2 hours of sleep before waking up to greet the sun. Costumed, and solitary in our temple room, I invoked the ancient archetypal Horned God under the guise of the Celtic deity Herne (Cernnunos).

The sleep deprivation was most definitely a benefit for the invocation, as it allowed my conscious/ego self to slip into the background, and allow the energy of God to flow through me perfectly. I would say that it was about a 60-70% invocation, meaning that I remember about 30-40% of what was said. He spoke through me and addressed many things to one person at a time for about 4-5 hours; everyone I’ve spoken to afterwards so far said that everything was spot-on. VERY confirming for me. What’s more confirming about the Path I’m walking is that Madeline (Datura) took her initiatory Mark in the OAO system right after, following a year and a day of neophytic study. AWESOME. It was an intense and beautiful rite of passage; she has now shaved off half her hair (in the front; ear to ear) and is dedicated to shave and draw her sacred symbol on each morning for a year and a day. A very intense process, but one that teaches lessons profound (speaking from experience!). Estha and I are so very proud that she has gone through the neophytic trials and is confident in taking this journey :)

Soon thereafter, friends old and new started gathering at our place, and about 20 of us went to Kelly’s to celebrate the holiday! It was an awesome celebration, and we used our new and performed some gorgeous ritual chants and songs! We danced, sang, drummed and played instruments, and Estha and I invoked. A number of participants went off to have sex or masturbate in the woods to aid in the healing of the land, as well as for the personal magick of connecting the Self to Nature. Most everyone ended up getting nekkid or damn near nekkid, dancing around the fire, playing instruments, and hootin’ and hollerin’ like regular ol’ Pagan hooligans, surrendering oneself to the Dance of the Universe! The whole evening was empowering and beautiful and I’m happy to report about it! What an awesome time, and, though it was exhausting for many of us, the fulfillment and reward of the evening greatly prevailed, and I look forward to future Sabbats as the wheel keeps turning.

Blessed Be and all that great stuff. Existo solvo, Existo torva! BE MERRY!

Photo by Estha McNevin

~Raven~ x

PS, in other personal news, I get the proofing and galley copies of Goth Craft next week. Llewellyn has done an INCREDIBLE job on the manuscript (art, layout, editing, publicizing, etc) and I can’t wait to see it. A dream come true; and I really hope it touches peoples’ lives!

PPS, if we neglected to invite you to the Beltane ceremony (or other ceremonies for that matter) please forgive us! We know about 812361381231 people and kind of expect people to get in touch with us around the time of the Sabbats to check time and location :)

~Raven~

~Raven~