PLEASE NOTE: While I am familiar with some of the great poets (my favourites being Baudelaire, Whitman, Poe, Shakespeare, Blake, & Plath), this writing, unlike traditional poetry, could better be called semi-conscious mindstreaming. Please note the *CONTEXT* of this writing: I wrote this as a teenager and young adult; nearly all of it being in high school. It reflects a certain vibration of that time in my life and, though I am embrassed of much of it, I’ve chosen to leave it up here, particularly for my younger readers & friends, in order that they may feel and perceptively compare their own emotions in that part of their life to my own. Hope you like! :)
AWAKENING
AS A SPONGE
B.J.S.
BLACK SWAN
LITTLE FLUFFY CLOUDS
BLANKET WALL
PROTECTION & BANISHMENT
STARRY EYES
SUPERBLY ASCENDING ILLUSION
CONVULSION
I OF THE MERCURY
THE SNOW FALLS BLACK
3
PSYCHOSIS
ENCHANTRESS 5:3
PARADOX
DEATH CARD
FLATLINE 2012
TRANCE
EXPERIENCE
WANDERING
AWAKENING
Undead. Unreal. Unfelt.
Desire screams, "Is there any more?"
What you see is what you have
What you have is all you know
Mystery reaches Her forgotten hand,
Ushering the soul in deeper
Reality is a void
Totality is Infinity
Cloaked in grey, awakening slowly
The meaning of it all lies everywhere…
Rests nowhere…
Fast as the washing clouds,
Vast as the blue-ridden skies
Cast into the ocean’s deep abyss
Truth Lies Within
AS A SPONGE
As a sponge, absorption is the way. It tears, it pains, it rips
the skin
Lonely is One. In the dark with fire & ice
Blank is the walk, empty is the heart
She sits.
The alley swept, nothing left unseen
Zero found.
Once borne of magick, now of suffering
Squeeze this sponge to nothingness
So close, always but as one goes away, the others soon follow
Surely flock do the weak, trying so hard to peer the sphere of crystal
She is my inner coil inevitable
She sits on the gravestone
She sits below the tree
She sits on ice
B.J.S.
Long velveteen frock, hands taped and bound, he appears
Alongside the girl of many faces he stands
I know him not
Face speaks of peace but repression
The dark soul states his imperfections
Mattering not to this adoring gaze
The shining star on his finger shimmers
Questions sparked & compliments
Lost, seen or deserted?
Answers only in the final moments
So play your softly musick to the stars…
BLACK SWAN
She’s a black swan, graceful in her walk, splendid in her talk…
Made up as a doll, harboring no care at all…
Create yourself as I know how, whatever you do don’t give up now…
So hard you’ve tried to love, just turn your glittered eyes above…
You’ve cried as I knew you would, you’ve died as I knew you would…
Staple substance antibiotic, a xanax, a valium, an antipsychotic…
Show your apathy to the world, soon your withered rose will be unfurled…
Time has passed, your beauty is stone, the western wind blows, you’re never
alone…
These harsh words you really don’t mean, as you and I know, things aren’t as
they seem…
Your glowing stare and vacant glare…
The clothes you wear and flowing hair…
You call my house but no one’s there…
I’ll show you Earth, Water, Fire and Air…
The veil of mystery will take you in, in this life you’ll be born again…
Wash away this day and pain, soon night will
fall and bring allegorical rain…
Embrace your sadness, emotions and fun, but forget not your time will come…
LITTLE FLUFFY CLOUDS
It’s a bird, it’s a drake, it’s a phoenix. Dragons & elephants battle in
the sky, sweeping the clouds, fighting and casting for what they believe to
be their own
But still they play
O how I do ponder the quarrel. Invisible wounds forming in slow motion. Smoke
drifts in peace. Others hate & flee to the keeper in envy. Others poison
with apathy.
O grandfather, why are you weeping? Vapor, perhaps, liquid is mourned. The earth
is on fire, that which these two eyes do not see. As below, so above; the black
sky overrides the white
And still they play
Clouds of misery rain on this place, supplying the nectar ~~~ The fog rushes
as a blanket tarp of misdirection. The one hidden inside comes as a surprise.
The gods appear amongst the vast sky united and the peaceful war continues till
its end
Yet still they play
They battle for their kingdom, the battlefield the stratosphere. All in set
formations, often undeciphered. So simple observing the scene. All of their
aspects, each individual glory. Venomous they seem, but ‘neath the shells lie
blissful animation
For still they play
BLANKET WALL
Jaded aggression, sinking so deep
Why does this come so?
I see thru those masks, beneath the auric imbalance
Bash my soul to rise your own
Laugh with them, though pain stricken within
Embrace your foolish ways
Lead to cliff, shall you leap?
Keep your aggression, it is not my own
This I give back for contemplation
Put your hand, your blanket wall, to your beautiful face
Don’t wear this false burden
Rip it all to shreds
PROTECTION & BANISHMENT
Darkness, but a fire. Færies and salamanders hiss and moan on the other
realm
A cloaked figure crouches to the flame, is inviting vibrations endlessly weaving
on this night with no moon
The Dryad of the embered wood is screaming. Why? Are these lamentations of the
Burning Times, a remembrance of the wretched past?
The surrounding, darkened trees act much as a gateway between This & That
The wind is blowing and the air is stale
Rushing breeze
Shudder think
Twelve o’clock
Wishing please
Stars align
Diana hears
Woven thru the night…
Purple smoke, the fire burns, with dragon’s blood and hawthorn root
Vervain blue and mugwort brown. Essence of lavender adds a pulse
Mandrake meets flame for an incredible burst of existence, or lack thereof
Protectorates know how it shall be. Draconic spirits are sent to devour the
attacker
One astral shriek does wonders
Athamé in the air, tracing the blue star
A kind beasty thynge watches from afar, saying the energy is to his liking
The negative is shed in this circle-illuminated boundary
Next step taken, aimless to endless, expansion about
Thankings stated, devoked, dismissed
The threads of binding have no choice but be gone
It is eternal.
So mote it be.
STARRY EYES
So tired these starry eyes
Sleep no more than a vacant thought
Golden be these chakras
Fly sister fly… into the darkness…
Go brother go… deep within your mind…
For the dusk I shimmer
It’s not any one thing or place that holds desire by the neck
All is the same wherever we flee
This tinsel garden is on fire
The cross, why is it falling?
The earth’s knowledge put to archaic symbols and stone
It’s a quarter to dawn
The whispers may be silenced
One blackened sheep may watch the rest
The masses, their meaningless games and empty words
Replicating vibration
These starry eyes see the cage you’ve finely crafted around
Stop sister stop… be not caught within…
Hush brother hush… this is not yours to take on…
Patching my soul with the elixir of life
Altered perception always available
The clock ticks, a perfect analogy of the turning wheel
These starry eyes observe gratuitous pain
And apply makeup to the edges
The bell rings unforgiving, returned to sender
Bleeding ink, make a dream
Lost and found
See sister see… that she is within…
Be brother be… at one with your sincerity…
SUPERBLY ASCENDING ILLUSION
Moon stands still, overlooking murky waters. She evokes emotion unheard of
at one time. Individuality sorted like media labels. Dreams bought and sold.
Dead and dying souls adrift on this world of dust. Beyond the external limitations,
the messengers and muses brush a sweet moment with nectar and orgasmic bliss
on high. Evolved vibratory transcendence. It sings such things as newlygiven
frequencies, much like playing a brand new game in and of itself. What fuels
the fire but the mysterious and shrouded glow of shadowbeings united? A ritual
of grounding proves beneficial. Two UFOs hover the nighttime sky and usher a
feeling of wonder, surpassing a fear apparent of times past.
Trees uproot
Once more
Silence
Dance
Apprehension
Delirium’s kiss
Never fail
Never fall
Attuning
Morphing slow
Turning
Twisting
Formless
Holding thought
And it’s granted
The natural world awakens from its millennia of slumber, granting her inhabitants
the gift of wordless, echoing song… and undying emotion. "Yes,"
it is said, as perversion morphs to flawless regret, superbly ascending illusion.
And it all falls apart as it all becomes whole. Desperate are some, insecure.
The light inside seemingly hopeless. Embracing are some, accepting. At
times overwhelming but always freeflowing. Fingers grasp the sun. Sun is the
hand. Centered.
CONVULSION
The lamenting rain drizzles as a never ending October slumber
Memories tumble as a past-life regurgitation from a source unknown
The siren’s song intertwines the dreary mist, surfacing at every turn
~Nothing~
Coma-white disassociation pulses every nerve, dulling the mind its natural
inhibitions
The smoky electroparty whirls itself to nothingness
Vinyl beings speak another tongue, mentioning the choice; I ask of what they
speak
~Silence~
A sensory moment dazes the inhabitant
What is clouded but this veil of mortality?
Sweet directionless astral projection
~Perception Heightening~
Fearful emotion and hopeless regret tend to have their way
Comfort is wishful but blasphemy runs rampant
Liquid flows and sings temperamental rebirth
~Sick not sick~
Quiet words mumble, but I know not which direction they point
Descending the spiral, but ascending just the same
Boundaries are boundless, as to tumble without warning
~And all is dim~
~And all is dim~
~And all is dim~
I OF THE MERCURY
Entranced are my thoughts, O forbidden by the iridescent glow
of that which is desire
Unveil the secrets so withheld beyond the mist of beauty’s doubt
Spark the flame which is creation
Broken is the path leading toward enchantment
Whispered are the ancient words, unrequited as love
About me flames the pentagram and in the column stands the six-rayed star
Three pillars morph to one, drifting to vapor, lost and found
~And all that reigns is Anew~
Once the Sirens wail as the mandragora
Twice the black mirror shatters its image of regret
Thrice the darkened moons cry out, only to strike a cord of desolation within
Roads become ladders, pointing a way out
The world is a velvet curtain waiting to fall
A shadowed figure buries itself in the marsh
This is where they say the flowers go to die
~And all that reigns is Torn~
This blinding madness seeps thru the skin
Another Inquisition waiting to happen
If the doorway leads to nowhere, the void must form an entrance
The oracle says to see it through
Apathy has no boundaries, as pain has no reason
The black birds mutter, "lies," they say, "betrayal"
All is predetermined, yet awaits determination
~And all that reigns is Lost~
THE SNOW FALLS BLACK
O and the snow… this night,
it falls black. Withdrawing from external sight, digging deeper this whirlpool
of introspection. Having but a comfort wish… a forgotten smile. A day ahead.
Arising from a dichotomy conquered. Acquired.
This night, the snow falls black. Hopeless tides weather away stone which once
stood strong. A voice turns echo; a chaos of remembrance. Anguish… a distant
cousin, yet a close friend. The least prepared are the last to care. Blue eyes,
keep in check. Wild.
This night, the snow falls black.
It means countless things. There is order, somewhere in this pandemonium. She…
my shadow. I crave what she was. A fault line, a blesséd passage and
a curséd ride. Microcosm/macrocosm, so few speak of the sea. Pointlessness
and sorrow… what a cliché. Thought projected/reflected and turning
back time once again.
Tonight, the snow falls black. Eavesdropping
the mind. Overwhelming predicament. As the wind kisses the trees, it is a reminder
of my place… outside of all this. Withstanding such connectedness, riding
out innocence. A divine novel at each and every turn. The river flows deep.
A new plant sprouts… the weeds are growing thin. The blood regains activation.
Finally arise. She is revealing herself. She the torment, forsaken, motivation,
declaration.
And tonight… oh tonight…
the snow, it falls black.
3
3 days of silence
3 days to see
3 days of challenge
3 days to be
Triple new moon begs something common, perhaps an abandonment
of sense. Tonite, a verbal fasting, with pure intuitive relevance.
3 days of judgment
3 days of change
3 days of ceasing
3 days to rearrange
Break it and cry, bleeding before the altar-stone. Chained at
the neck, tho’ so happy peace is known.
Empty words muttered to these vacant ears. Seeing, not worldly, singing these
fears.
3 days of cleansing
3 days’ reflection
3 days in utero
3 days’ connection
Fifth chakra third, seeing the unseen. Avoiding common judgments
and all that they mean.
Releasing this doubt, smudging the soul. All things will pass, straight through
time’s pull.
Drawing the sun, chanting for the day. Diving deep inside, not hearing what
they say.
3 days of sacrifice
3 days nonviolence
3 days of introspection
3 days of silence
PSYCHOSIS
Your psychosis runs deep, pulsing thru your veins, like an injected poison
We all take notice… but give it no mind… mind… mind… your
worst enemy
I see the mask you place so gently on your face. -WAIT- There’s another
It is crafted with such precision, you’ve forgotten it is there
Such a tragedy in need of vast healing, intense as a sandstorm
But this you will not take in… zero internalization. I have tried…
Like a man with his eyes planted permanently to the ground
You are oblivious to the puzzle sky all around
Your hatred and judgment is neverchanging… and your ego is false
You’ve done this times past, I see it resurface again
Is this where you wish to live? Truly, is it?
Pick apart my weaknesses all you want, all you can
For your words of evil pass right thru
So sorry I do feel for her… the sweet fæ you’ve captured and put
in a jar
She wishes and prays that you will accept her light… it’s your final opportunity
You too pick it apart, manipulate, annihilate
You burn it with your radiation heart
She too will break the glass you have built around her with her own sacred karma
Your dreams are of black death, of torture, of genocide
You know none other, and you I pity; you are vacant to these eyes
Water, cold as ice, you have dumped on these embers,
and all ties are broken
Now fall in the corner, a fit of rage, and face the hell you have created
ENCHANTRESS 5:3
Her dance is darkness
She, as a shadow
Out from the deep
There to weave, to cast a spell upon the masses
Low chakra high, binding the invisible
She, the Enchantress
Cerridwen watching
Facing disposition to rise for Ascension
Look to her eyes as she reworks your soul
She, as the Martyr
Giving strength
Whispering the Mysteries
Pélé summons to her land
Burn away the sorrows
Wash away the pain
She, as Oneness
Reassuring the unseen
Magick every breath, creating sacred space
Igniting Medusa’s fire; flame of forgiveness
She, Kindred Soul
Beauty an admiration
Albino serpentine, a familiar of sorts
Trust proportioned in crystalline word
Kali dances aside her song
Aligning Egyptian empire
She, a Deity of Stone
Telling again of the Ancient Ways
A story without words
O, and angels fly away…
She, the Enchantress
PARADOX
Giving and giving till nothingness
Wishing and wanting for something less
Pained by the thought of imperfection
Shudder to think the soul’s reflection
Charred spirit in the mirror
So young, so old, seeing hell here
What is desire and this mortal thirst?
Who plays in this game, who strives to be first?
Freeze-frame rainbow in the snow
Eighteen years lived, how many to go?
Is that a cloud or is it a being?
Are these just words or do they sing?
Angel wings spread, yet tainted red
One goes for training, one left for dead
Another war is on the rise!
Funny thing, it comes as no surprise
Returning in dreams, the infinite screams
All is well or so it seems
A window’s old curtain hides the lost souls
Into its vortex, deeper it pulls
With so much emotion put in all this
Only touch heals, just one simple kiss
So many cycles, spirals and waves
The truth of the matter is only love saves
DEATH CARD
The Death Card I do pull from this dark tarot
Flaccid murals dedicated to the old gods
I scry the blackened mirror, diving for answers unseen
The pendulum swings directionless and the clock ticks surreal
The clouds for imaginary projections of inner reality
Another kindred spirit-this one higher, but diffused by addiction
I spread black wings which blanket your wounds
Tired eyes glow infernal… mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Deeper into the Hollow Earth
The Death Card says that the Wheel keeps on turning
Getting what you give…
Ritualize, Spiritualize and don’t forget to Memorize
The hymns to sing your wandering heart
Simply waiting till midnight, as the candle’s flame flickers black
Lightning strikes, reminding of fair-weather folk…
Of rusted feathers and unheard anguishes
The ancestors speak thru the elements
And transformation occurs within the cast iron cauldron
Another great ship collapses to the salty sea
Thus, the nature of the Death Card
All things reborn within this lucid dream…
FLATLINE 2012
She tells me the earth is flat
So long - I - believing, absorbing in awe
Now questioning, sorting fact from fiction
Fair enough… contradictions aplenty
Mind rewinding… Double life thrice
Belief she gives to blatantly opposing factors, facts & figures
Aethyrdust. A collision-course between Astral and Manifest
These bleeding marks on my skin, unearthing a storm
Researching in anonymity-tearing illusion, piece by piece
Samskaras and unquestioned influence
Perhaps warping Karma, hushing Dharma, speaking Drama
Return of Amen-Ra… melting mistakes
Trust rendered blind… love wounded unapparent
Four years nearly five
My golden leaf, whither not like the rest
I discover now untainted
Want to learn, to suffer to grow? ‘No.’
I release you, as you have never held onto me
Severed silver threads-cast into the darkly earth
Tiphareth forms a sphere
TRANCE
Wanting. Wishing on the seven-rayed star. Grey illuminations.
The candle drips opaque. Connection. Pale are the lips uttering the sacred names.
In trance we lie dancing internal. Jumping time thru the void. Infernal silent
screams and cobwebbed astral whiplash. Hermes, Mercury, Thoth, scribe of the
ages invoked. Dusty records spinning. The seven sisters recall our magick. Shaven
head, tonsure taken. Pigment removed. Anger a dead-living prophecy. An oracular
ordeal, building futures of security. Trepidation fading fast. No regrets, only
NOW. For the Great Work mused from the lips of the Great Beast buried, does
echo, surrounding us. Sick in these shells, shivering. Violations resurface.
Beauty received from afar, whispering these wishes, fulfilling these questions.
Filtering disposition and Will. An old willow’s Medusa hand, set affront dusk.
The whisper morphs to antiquarian song. Children dance;
she: but three. The rain drips dry. Requesting direction, banishing fatigue.
Just… let go…
EXPERIENCE
A shivering, shuttering sort of heat. Recalling impermanence / tensions unearthed.
Paths parting, eyes down. Each circle overlapping the other; cycles playing
on repeat. The Holographic Universe folds in on itself / dimensions superceding
mortality. In longhand is scrawled the metaphors of channelings, on the stones
and on the roots. Palpitations infernal / a holistic balancing act. Compassion
sinking deeper as the toxins of mind further infiltrate. In the dusty attic,
cobwebs gather time. A music box sings a warming melody, shrouded by shrapnel
and doll parts. Agony a numbing force and slumber close behind. Pushed away,
aside, undesired and banished. Just waiting. Drifting. A harp and organ invoke
the æthyrs. The figures draw a square, divided in seven by the musick
of the Spheres. Sulphur, Salt, Quicksilver. Salt, Spirits, and Iron. A potion
be brewed for perpetual night. An echo be forged for the sake of silence. Sadness
be woven, unified, transcended. The Way is One… is six billion. A star
dies; æons ago. Perceived for but an instant. An æternity.
HERU-RA-HA
HOOR-PA-KRAAT
RA-HOOR-KHUIT
Show us now the Nature of Truth. The Truth of Nature.
Light for us now the sacred fire, kindled by the bones of our ancestors. Love
is Law. Word is Will.
WANDERING
Vivid colours
An array of circus lights
Bones, like degeneration
Like the dying sun
Life a mirage
A wake for the living
Red ivy covering windows
And celebrations overturned
A certain kind of ambiguous hollow
A desperation so subtle and
Can you hear them?
The voices of dead children
Dukkha as the yellow shifts to red
He’s gone
I am the silent and unobserving
Relic of the shades
Decomposing the sympathy orchestra
A rose for the dead
December 13th, 2009 at 8:24 am
magnificent poems….
endless hails to your beautifully dark soul, Raven!
February 8th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Your work is shiftless; anyone can pair incongruous images. Please learn meter.
October 7th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
wow… you are just…. wow.
way better than i can hope to be.
you should keep writing. :)
October 5th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Words cannot describe how wonderful your poetry is my friend!
There is sadness combined with strength and magick .
I hope that you will continue to share your works with us.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
wonderful, amazing…i have no words able to describe your words. your poetry was from the heart…it was simply beautiful yet heartbreaking. you shouldn’t be embarrassed about your poetry, its a work of art, you should never be embarrassed about something that got your mind off things. If you love it then even more reason not to be embarrassed! keep writing, its lovely. Also…can’t wait for shadow magick compendium!
July 31st, 2008 at 1:07 pm
your poems are just amazing and so are your books..raven im a huge fan of yours.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:22 pm
I love all you have done with ur life. U make me soooo proud and even more so cause i know how gifted u are. Many hugs Raven I miss you!!
March 28th, 2008 at 5:54 am
your poems are so. . . beautiful. they are really awesome. i found your Goth Craft book and had to buy it because it was amazing. . .thank you for writing all this to help spred light to others.
January 5th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Just recently…I found the book in a store…”The Magickal Side Of Dark Culture-Goth Craft”…
..you words, thoughts, knowledge, beliefs….are so profound, so true…
well, I couldn’t get the book, but I wrote down some paragraphs from page 11….
..and your poetry here, as well…
..it’s so beautiful, and heart-shattering…
well, I don’t expect you to reply or anything…althought I would love to meet you…
you are an amazing, caring, Being…
..and I thank you, for writing that book, along with helping the Animals….those innocent Beings that are tormented for being different…just like Natives…for respecting Mother Earth and Nature, society tries to destroy us…
I am truly grateful to know that someone such as yourself, along with many others (though they seem to be hidden and unknown)…I’m grateful that Beings like you exist…
…and I admire the way you can describe your beliefs…unlike me, I have them trapped inside, and cannot speak…
well, I do write, though…it just doesn’t feel Deep enough, it doesn’t get my thoughts out….
Thank you so very much for all that you have done and all that you are doing, to make this world a better place…..
November 9th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Your poems make me remember the poem book Clouds without Water…